


Nobody Ever Ever Talks About It

by JoNasha



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies)
Genre: Awkward Sexual Situations, Family, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Masturbation Interruptus, Science Fiction, Singing in the Shower, mistaken situation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-15 16:13:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11234583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoNasha/pseuds/JoNasha
Summary: (NOT EXPLICIT and mild sexual themes)The idea of Rocket hating being caught dancing came from this adorable official tweet. (Link)Having taken a liking to Peter Quill's music and singing and dancing on the way to his bed, Rocket thinks Quill caught him in the act. Peter mistakenly thinks he caught him in the act of something way more personal than that. Everybody ends up talking about it.WARNING: Massive spoilers for Guardians of the Galaxy: Volume 2





	Nobody Ever Ever Talks About It

**Author's Note:**

> It was very important to me to keep it clean. I feel this is something that could actually happen with the characters. I hope the tags don't scare people off, but I felt they should be honest.

Rocket’s footsteps echoed through the empty corridors of the Quadrant, his sensitive ears picking up the clicking sounds of his claws on the metal floors quite easily. The Quadrant was a large ship despite only being a portion of the Eclector, its parent ship that was destroyed when he, Groot, Yondu, and Kraglin had escaped after enacting vengeance for the slaughter of Yondu’s allies. 

Such a ship was meant to have a much larger crew. The Quadrant was significantly larger than the Milano. Being such a size there was plenty of work to be done, even after repairs had been finished after the rather violent events that led to the ship becoming the Guardians’ headquarters. Rocket didn’t mind that though. He relished working on improving the ship’s weaponry. Plus with such a large ship he could cannibalize parts with ease without anyone noticing. They wouldn’t be missed.

The less interesting work also provided a welcome distraction from more unpleasant thoughts. It was due to this that it was with some apprehension that Rocket roamed towards his makeshift quarters. Being a crew of seven on a ship so large afforded each the luxury of having their own personal quarters. Most had chosen rooms with windows. Rocket wanted anything but that. Yondu’s words echoed through his mind, “I know everything about you. I know you play like you're the meanest in the heart but actually you're the most scared of all.” Rocket was surprised Yondu had seen right through him.

He remembered the looks of terror on the faces of Yondu’s friends as they were shoved into the airlock. He remembered how it took about fifteen long seconds for each of them to stop flailing, and how he pondered in silence how much longer he would have to suffer due to his implants come his turn. Rocket didn’t much care for anyone other than his friends, but the image of the men being ejected into space one by one haunted him. 

Their cries for mercy, desperate pleas for help, and the scent of their fear was burned into his memory. It may have been merciful compared to what Rocket went through in the lab, but that didn’t make it any more tolerable to watch nor did it stop it from giving him more nightmares. Sometimes he dreamed of Yondu in that airlock, and when he woke up the memory of what actually happened to him did not make him feel any better. No, he definitely didn’t want a window in his quarters. 

He remembered the smell of Taserface’s breath, and how for the most brief of moments he let some of that fear slip through his eyes as he felt the blade against his neck. Taserface. It was such a dumbass name, and genuinely poking fun at it was a small relief from the terror that had consumed Rocket in that moment. Nebula claimed she saved his life. Was there really any altruistic intent? She was a far worse patchwork of cybernetic parts than Rocket himself. If either of them were more sociable, perhaps they could swap tips on how to care for their implants.

Yondu’s Ravagers may have been an unkempt bunch, but the Eclector was their home and a ship of its size had to have amenities for daily life. Being a sizable chunk of the ship as a whole, the Quadrant also had such amenities, and far more than what seven crew members needed. It was with that in mind that Rocket hijacked a cargo hold and neighboring bathroom to use as his quarters. There was plenty of more work to get done, but it was serviceable and suited Rocket’s needs. Rocket did not sweat in the way his friends did, and so he did not need to shower nearly as often as they did. Still he was full of grease and grime from working on the ship all day and he had no desire to leave that gunk in his fur. 

The shower was a welcome distraction. With some of Quill’s music blaring through the intercom the raccoon-like being hummed and sang along as he cleaned himself. With the music and the cool liquid running through his fur finally his mind wasn’t focused on all that other junk. As he stepped out of the shower his mind no longer dwelled on bodies floating in space, knives, or being sliced open for cybernetic experimentation.

Even while out of the shower and with the music off Rocket was in a good mood. In his bare fur Rocket shamelessly danced and sang on the way to his bed. One of his favorites had been playing, ♪♫ …to anyone who can truly say, that he has found a better way! DA-DA-DA, DADA, DADA! ♫♪ Rocket flopped backwards onto his bed and stretched, moaning loudly. That is when he saw Peter Quill standing in his doorway.

Rocket shouted in surprise, “Quill? What the hell!” Rocket’s ears were folded back in indignation.

“Dude, sorry man. Uh, we got back early…” Peter trailed off. “I’ll just be going now.” At that, the human disappeared down the hall.

* * *

The next day Rocket mostly kept to himself, making miscellaneous tweaks all over the ship, anywhere to avoid running into Quill. By the evening, however, both Peter and Rocket had taken their typical stations on the bridge.

Quill spoke up, “We’ve got a job to pick up some cargo on Xandar. They figure it’ll be safe with us.”

“Mmhmm,” Rocket replied.

“I don’t know what kind of jerks our client has after the cargo but we’ll need all our systems in order.”

“Okay,” came the diminutive pilot’s drab reply.

“We have to keep our reputation going strong,” Peter put a smirk upon his face, “…just like Han Solo could make the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs.”

Rocket’s ears twitched, “Alright.”

Several minutes of uncomfortable silence passed until finally Peter spoke, “Look man I’m sorry, I should have knocked. You don’t have to give me the cold shoulder.”

“I’ll get over it,” Rocket replied as his disconcertingly human-like hands deftly glided over the control panels before him.

“Hey, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about man. Everybody does it.”

That got Rocket’s attention. “I know you and Kraglin do it, and I'm sure Mantis would do it. Groot can’t for obvious reasons, but Drax and Gamora? Really?”

“Come on man everybody’s got to let out some steam now and then. You ever hear of the sock code?”

Rocket scrunched up his face in confusion, “Sock code?”

“Yeah, when you need some, ah, ‘private time,’ for yourself or with some hot chick you hang a sock on the door so people know not spoil the mood or get scarred for life.”

“What the hell are you goin’ on about humie?”

“He is talking about masturbation.” Drax's loud voice boomed behind them causing both to jump, including Rocket despite his sensitive ears and nose.

Kraglin entered the bridge, curious about the commotion.

“Drax what the hell, I was trying not to embarrass him.” Peter shouted with exasperation.

“Rocket, it is nothing to be ashamed of that Quill saw you pleasuring yourself. Everyone does it.”

Peter shouted, “Shut. Up.”

Without a word Kraglin turned around and left the room.

“What is with your hangups? I am trying to help our friend feel at ease!”

Rocket stood up, pointing at Peter. “Wait wait wait, you thought that’s what I was doing?”

“It is okay, little friend. Quill heard your moans and saw what you were doing on your bed.” Drax continued, “It is only natural to relieve yourself of your primal urges.”

“Three things, first of all I was naked after taking a shower. God knows I needed one after working on this place. Look at it, it’s filthy.” Rocket gestured around the room.

“Secondararily, that’s not what I was doin’ you perv.” Rocket’s uncomfortableness was evident in that he was not looking directly at either of them.

“Third, Quill that’s what you thought I was doing and the first thing you thought was,” Rocket mockingly imitated Peter, “Gee, I know I what I should do. I’m gonna go tell Drax.” “That seemed like a good idea to you… how?”

“Well it’s not like I was going to talk to Gamora about it.” Peter softened his tone, “I felt bad for walking in on you, okay? I just wanted to talk to someone about it.”

“I am Groot?” Gamora had entered the room, Groot on her shoulder.

“What is going on in here?” 

Drax turned to her and stated matter-of-factly, “Quill walked in on Rocket masturbating. We are trying to put him at ease by letting him know everyone does it.”

Before Gamora could react Mantis entered the room, a look of concern on her face. “What is going on? Why are you all shouting?” 

Gamora shook her head, “Men. Let’s get out of here.” Mantis followed her out of the room, curious to pester her for more information.

“Dude! I told you that’s not what I was doing!” Rocket was only getting even more flustered.

Both Drax and Peter stared at him, waiting for him to continue.

Rocket sighed, “Fine whatever… I was singin’ in the shower. I got into it and danced to my bed and flopped down. That’s when you walked in.” He pointed at Peter. “I figured I’d never live that one down.”

“What about the moaning?” Drax, ignorant to how any of this was embarrassing, pried for information. 

Peter and Rocket gave him a look due to the bluntness of the statement. “It’s called stretching. And yes I know everyone does it. Happy now?” Rocket stormed out of the room.

Peter looked at Drax with a wry grin. “Now that the cat’s out of the bag, we need to have a karaoke night.”

Drax, having been around Peter for several months, understood the idiom. “Ah ha ha ha ha…” his voice boomed. 

Rocket’s sensitive ears picked up the bellowing laugh. He couldn’t help but smile, until he soon ran into Mantis.

“It is okay. It is nothing to be embarrassed about.” Mantis beamed with her characteristically gigantic smile as she carefully articulated each word. It wasn’t as freakishly artificial as when she first met them, but it was obnoxious all the same.

“Mantis!” Gamora had not expected Mantis to chime in, despite explaining the situation to her, or what she could gather about it from her few seconds on the bridge.

“I am Groot?” Groot asked incredulously.

Rocket replied, while shaking his head no. “Buddy, you don’t wanna know, trust me.” Almost everyone else seemed more flustered than he did, and that suited him just fine.

* * *

Rocket entered his makeshift quarters. It had been a long day, but he could get used to it. He thought of the lengths his friends went to, trying to make him comfortable. He smiled. Still, he could use some alone time.

Although he didn’t typically wear footwear he was prepared for situations that required it. Rocket took one of his rarely used socks and hung it on the outside of his door, which he then locked from the inside.

As he prepared to ‘get to business,’ he chuckled to himself. With his ears and nose, of course he knew everyone did “it.”

**Author's Note:**

> When this story popped into my head I was hoping the episode of Roseanne in which everyone ends up talking about DJ's 'personal habits' came out before Peter was abducted from Earth. While it came out way too late for Peter to have seen it, I still think the quote in the title fits.
> 
> I did manage to sneak in a reference to "Rocket Raccoon & Groot: Steal the Galaxy." It is a novel that is very much worth a read.
> 
> This is the first time I've tried to write something completely story focused. I hope it turned out okay.


End file.
